


how am i supposed to pretend (i never want to see you again)

by ivermectin



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Banter, Episode: s01e15 Desperately Seeking Serena, F/M, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Sex, POV Vanessa Abrams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28751985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivermectin/pseuds/ivermectin
Summary: Having a crush on Nate Archibald is painfully cliché, but Vanessa's never been one to deny herself what she wants.
Relationships: Vanessa Abrams & Dan Humphrey, Vanessa Abrams/Nate Archibald
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	how am i supposed to pretend (i never want to see you again)

**Author's Note:**

> this is named after "campus" by vampire weekend, because that's their song _canonically_ , which never fails to make me laugh.  
> what can i say ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i miss nate and vanessa.

Vanessa’s never thought of herself as one person in a crowd. She’s always been the outsider, cherished it and embraced it, even. When they were younger, she’d befriended Dan, because she could tell that he was the same way. They were the two kids who did the crossword in the newspaper while their peers read the comics. They were the two kids who got into trouble for sneaking into the adult section of the library while they were in fourth grade. Their idea of perfect Friday nights was a night at home, watching documentaries and eating pizza.

Vanessa’s always known that she’s quirky, weird, strange, and she’s always known that the only person who really understood that strangeness was Dan.

Which is why the flutter in her stomach when Nate Archibald walks into her coffee shop is abominable. He’s nice to Dan in a way that makes _her_ bristle, because it’s nice of him to be nice, but Dan’s been in Nate’s class for years and years, and it’s shitty that Dan stopped being invisible to Nate only once he started dating Serena. So, she tells Nate to fuck off, because they don’t need his charity, Dan has her anyway, he doesn’t need _Nate_ , and Nate has the audacity to just smile at her, like, “Yeah?”

It’s a beautiful smile. Vanessa hates rich boys on principle, but at least he’s cute.

Once Nate's gone, she notices a few pages sticking out of the book, and because she’s always been curious, she pulls it out. It’s a practice essay for the SATs, but it makes her frown, because it’s the most tragic shit she’s ever read, and she’s been reading Dan’s essays for years. Quickly, she pushes Dan out of the way, using his laptop to google the Archibalds.

“What are you doing?” Dan asks.

Vanessa figures if Nate didn’t want them to see the damn essay, he wouldn’t have given it to them, so she hands it to Dan. “Fact checking.”

Dan skims it. He’s a faster reader than her, always has been. One of the only things she hates about Dan.

“It’s all true,” Dan says. “Holy shit, I didn’t know Nate had this much of an internal monologue going.”

“He doesn’t look the type, that’s for sure,” Vanessa says.

Dan and Vanessa look at each other. Vanessa smiles mischievously, and Dan laughs.

She takes Dan’s phone from his hands, begins to type a message to herself.

“What are you doing?” Dan asks, his expression one of befuddlement.

“Taking Nate’s phone number from you,” Vanessa says, handing Dan back the phone. “I’m going to go get dicked down by that rich boy.”

Dan chokes on his tea, which is what Vanessa’d been hoping for.

“It’s a bit common, don’t you think?” he says eventually, once he’s mopped the tea off his face with a tissue. “Sleeping with Nate Archibald? Every girl wants to do it?”

“Well, given that the guy I’m talking to is currently dating Serena van der Woodsen,” Vanessa says teasingly, “I’d say you don’t have a leg to stand on there.”

Dan rolls his eyes, and then he goes back to practicing for his SATs. Vanessa sends Nate a message.

Later, she meets him and apologises. He’s charming, sweet, his aura of naivete clearly hiding some intuition that she can’t fully understand. Nate’s not easy to pin down, at all. He’s good-natured and sunny, warm in the same way Serena was, but also unconcerned by her more caustic commentary and Marxist philosophy. He’s got snark, but it comes out only now and then, rare enough that she thinks she’s imagined it until he does it again. He also has this way of saying heavy things ever so lightly – like whenever he brings up his father – like he knows it’s fucked up, but he isn’t going to dwell on it.

She doesn’t understand him. He seems so sad, and yet so ready to make people happy. And he’s silly, making stupid jokes about lesbians when she tells him about her sister’s band, telling her that he carries a condom in his shoe as a lucky charm and when she gives him a sceptical look, he just says, “Dan fell for it, thought it was worth a shot.” He smells like weed but also like Old Spice and sandalwood, some weird mixture of teenage boy and young man. His shirt is carefully ironed, and he wears a vest on top of it like an old man. She tells him this, just to annoy him, but he laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard.

 _I don’t date people who aren’t artists,_ she wants to tell him. _I don’t date jocks, popular guys, rich boys like you._ Instead, she smiles at him, openly, and he smiles back. Waiting for something, anything – not asking, letting Vanessa tell him what she wants. So Vanessa makes a joke about this being a doorstep moment, and they kiss, and they enter the coffee shop even though it’s closed, and it feels like such a stereotypical teen movie cliché, but Nate’s hands are gentle and soft, calloused and firm, and he smiles at her when he looks at her, like he’s really seeing her.

“You know, I always thought Serena was the cheerleader and you were the blonde jock,” Vanessa tells him, half an hour later. She’s wearing his shirt instead and her jeans, and he’s just wearing his sweater vest, letting Vanessa inspect his arms for the hell of it, which she does very seriously, poking at his biceps with her fingertips. “Now I realise, Serena’s the jock, and you’re the cheerleader.”

Nate laughs, pressing his face against Vanessa’s neck. Her body shivers involuntarily, and she wraps her arms around him. _Fucking cliché,_ she thinks.

“This isn’t a teen movie, Vanessa,” Nate says, and he’s suddenly serious. “I’m a whole person, and so are you.”

“I’m a cooler person than you, though,” Vanessa says, shifting so that she can lick Nate’s jawline. He laughs, tells her that it tickles. But when she pulls away, he looks at her with those strangely open, honest blue eyes. “You’re cooler,” he agrees. “Let’s get out of here, go buy ice-cream.”

Vanessa loops her arm through his, a gesture that reminds her of befriending Dan, back when they were both kids. “Raspberry, or nothing,” she tells Nate, pulling him out of the shop, locking up quickly and methodically.

“You’re kinda terrifying, anyone ever told you that?” Nate asks her.

“Oh, yeah,” Vanessa laughs. “I think it’s the best compliment.”

“I think it’s sexy,” Nate says.

Vanessa elbows him, and he laughs, and she laughs too, giddily.

The night’s shaping up to be pretty great. With Nate next to her, Vanessa thinks it’s nice, maybe. Not being entirely alone.

**Author's Note:**

> writing vanessa was such fun, i adore her! hope you enjoyed :')


End file.
